All I honestly wanted to do was just to comfort my best friend, who was very upset about her boyfriend – but we ended up having sex and now I am torn between her and my girlfriend. We have been best mates since we met at senior secondary school. We attended the same university but studied different courses and graduated the same year. We stayed together at the hotel after my departmental dinner started late. We stayed up playing games and talked all night whilst drinking wine. I kissed her and she kissed me back. Then we had sex. Afterwards we said we loved each other but we thought it would spoil our friendship if we became boyfriend and girlfriend, so we left it there. Our friendship has always been very important to us. We can talk about anything.
After our national service, we both got good jobs and I have my own apartment whilst she still lives at home. One day she came round and was telling me how badly her boyfriend had been treating her and she started crying. I hugged her and gave her a shoulder massage. It felt so right and I slid my hands down into her bra. She turned round and before we knew it, we were having sex. It was brilliant. We talked afterwards and we both said it would be great if we were together. But I already have a girlfriend who wants to get engaged and keeps talking about getting married and having children. What should I do? Solomon, Akoka
Dear Solomon,For starters, break up with your girlfriend and you will see things a lot more clearly. She is pushing you to make a commitment you are not ready for. If she is not the one you want, be fair to her and finish with her. Your best friend says her boyfriend is treating her badly – why is she staying with someone who makes her unhappy? Tell her she must make up her mind what she wants or it’s not fair on anyone. Even if you both decide to end your relationships, think carefully about whether you want to be together. You need to take time to just be single and let the air clear or you risk losing a friendship without cementing a relationship. Get together too quickly and it could spoil the chances of things working out.
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